Thursday, December 11, 2008

tie me kangaroo down, sport

i wonder if writing a blog entry is conducive to completing a composition. it takes a lot of coffee to get myself motivated to do anything, and it's a shame i have such a hard time doing what i want to do, which is compose music.

at the beginning of 2008 i promised myself that i would complete 50 minutes of music this year.

i fell short. by a lot. it's sad and ironic. i eat, sleep, and bleed music. so why don't i have the proper discipline to organize my ideas logically? the relentless touring could be an excuse, but look at frank zappa. he could write a satisfying and compelling piece for orchestra in his sleep.

the real reason is that i have the attention span of a small puppy. i've been told that it's a dopamine deficiency. one thing that helps is practicing an intense kind of yoga called bikram. when i can find the time to do it, my focus is sharp and my stress disappears. if i could begin every day with that kind of disciplinary activity, then i could probably use more of my brain.

the brain is my favorite muscle. if i could flex it more, i would. on this current tour (australia) i've been having roughly two drinks a night. not good for my brain - but good for sleep. when i am home, i will be a good boy again. i don't like drinking. it makes me ugly and stupid.

so who can help me complete 50 minutes of music by the end of 2008? can anyone crack the proverbial whip and snap me out of my fear and laziness? or is it up to my own freewill? will i stop asking myself questions? will eric begin speaking in the third person?