Saturday, August 8, 2009

czech please/prague rock

i'm writing from the park hotel in prague, czech republic. it's located right off the dukelskych hrdinu - a gritty street with pawn shops and xxx stores that leads to the town square via the palackeho most bridge. the bridge overlooks the shimmering vltava river, which houses two floating restaurants, a disco, and an old island that looks like alcatraz. the walk to the town square is much more glamorous, because on the way back it kind of looks like pittsburgh. here's a picture courtesy of cz wikipedia:

i flew over here on lufthansa with project object keyboardist/viking eric svalgard. a painless flight, except for the occasional outbursts a few rows behind us. on the seatback telescreen i endured the 2009 film "i love you, man", a pointless but entertaining study on Broism and it's effects on engagement plans.

on the way to prague we had a 4 hour (!) layover in frankfurt. during this waiting period, i played many games in my head such as "european or american?", a terrible exercise in poor judgement. i try to figure out if the passengers are european or american based on the amount of hair dye they use. am i going to hell yet?

in this process of amusing myself, i was interrupted by a young female airport employee. she decided that i was the perfect candidate for the "frankfurt airport questionnaire". my face must have shown great signs of apathy, because she began to pummel me with some hilarious questions. i provided arbitary answers, which she captured on a portable touchscreen computer.

our exchange went like this:

"excuse me sir, but do you have some time to answer some questions concerning frankfurt airport?"
"okay, um, what do you think about the cleanliness of frankfurt airport, rate 1 to 6...1 being the best."
"1 is the best?"
"yes sir."
"uh, okay, 1."
"and would you recommend frankfurt airport, rate 1 to 6?"
"i'm going to give it a 2."
"are you traveling for business or pleasure?"
"and are you from frankfurt?"
"no. i'm american."
"where are you located?"
"and how would compare frankfurt to other airports, rate 1 to 6?"
"i'm going to say a 1."
"how old are you?"
"i'm 22 years old."
"would you say that frankfurt airport is clean, rate 1 to 6?"
"that's a 1."
"how about the lighting, rate 1 to 6?"
"ehh, i'm going to say 2."
"i see."
silence. then she speaks.
"well, sir. we appreciate that you've chosen lufthansa. have a nice day!"

too much fun. the perfect soul draining medication for the following flight to prague.
now i'm sitting in my hotel room, waiting for the 1PM soundcheck. how strange. our show is early tonight. the lucerna bar turns into an 80's disco after we finish playing. i will be filming my attempts at dancing with sleazy czech beauties. i'll probably fall asleep though.

1 comment:

georgia juniper said...

czech please
prague rock

you are the wittiest